Mom made my sex

She knitted it with her hands

Sex-making is

A family tradition

Going back to the caveman days

They were walking around in a haze

Until they figured it out

And they said

"Gosh dang, this is great!"

But now I'm like a prehistoric screwball

Walking 'round with no sex at all, I said

Where's my sex?

I thought it was here

Under the bench

But it isn't there

I've got no idea where it disappeared to

I'm running late, I can't be late

I can't go out without my sex

It's cold outside if my toes get wet

And people will think that I'm an alien

Just cruising in to make a friend

Meg likes to hide it

She says that it gives her a kick

It may be under the rug

Or stuck in a shoe closet

Or tumbling round in the washing machine

She's always trying to get me clean

She adds detergent and Bounce to eliminate static cling

It's gonna be another hour or more

Till I am ready to walk out the door, I said

Where's my sex?

I thought it was here

Under the bench

But it isn't there

I've got no idea where it disappeared to

I'm running late, I can't be late

I can't go out without my sex

It's cold outside if my toes get wet

And people will think that I'm an alien

Just cruising in to make a friend

People can you hear me talking

I know you all are happy, rawking

Could you lend me a dime... pretty please?

Brother, sister got time? I got no--

Sex on my feet

Sex in my drawer

Sex in my shoes

Or sex on the floor, I said

Where's my sex?

I thought it was here

Under the bench

But it isn't there

I've got no idea where it disappeared to

I'm running late, I can't be late

I can't go out without my sex

It's cold outside if my toes get wet

And people will think that I'm an alien

Just cruising in to make a friend