If you gave me a nickel to mend my ways

Well, then I'd have a nickel

And I reckon I'd probably owe you change.

I don't have a care,

I don't have a plan.

I've got nothing to spare.

And it's just the way I am.

If you gave me a two-cents

On how to live my life.

Well, then I'd have two cents

And a great big pile of bad advice

I don't doubt your mind or ability

I just highly doubt that you know

What's right for me.

You say I'm stubborn as a mule, boy

'Cause you've got words I just won't hear.

I may seem stubborn as a mule, boy

But if wealth is measured by the ease,

To do just what you please.

Then I'm the richest man in here.

You say to save my pennies

For a rainy day

But I can't buy beer with pennies

I've gone and stashed away.

That rainy day might be when I'm dead.

So I'd rather spend them

Now on beer instead.

If you bet me a dollar

That I am wrong.

I'd take that dollar

And I'd put it in the jukebox for this song.

Then I'd sit on back

And pretend to hear your nagging words

While I finish up my beer.

You say I'm stubborn as a mule, boy

'Cause you've got words I just won't hear.

I may seem stubborn as a mule, boy

But if wealth is measured by the ease,

To do just what you please.

Then I'm the richest man in here.

You got the things you need,

And that's alright for you.

You got your cubicle

And your three-piece suit.

You got security and hypertension, too.

And you've got that tie that fits you like a noose.

Bet your bottom dollar

That the buck stops here.

'Cause if you meet me in another forty years,

I'll still be broke

And I may be old.

But the life I've lived,

Would've been worth more than gold.

You say I'm stubborn as a mule, boy

'Cause you've got words I just won't hear.

I may seem stubborn as a mule, boy

But if wealth is measured by the ease,

To do just what you please.

Then I'm the richest man in here.