I'm not scared, but this is happening

I'm not afraid, but this is real

It all comes at once

From every single direction

This time I'm not sleeping at all

How could this be real

I've failed you

I was lying when I said

I was looking north

I was too scared to show what I am

Bear with me this is all I have left

This might be more than a simple conversation

It's been dancing around in my head

For quite some time

Just the thought

Of cleaning up myself

I stare at the wall

Watching my time float away

It's all been a blur

And nothing will change

I was lying

This is defeat