Hello, my name is Mr. Tragedy, and I'm going to kill myself first

Mr. Tragedy, it's plain to see

There's nothing in this world for you and me

Mr. Tragedy, open up your eyes

Or this whole world's gonna pass you by

Tarot cards and sleeping pills don't lie

One last cigarette might make you cry

There's another world outside your living room

[Your living room is murder]

There's a clear blue sky outside, that's killing you

Mr. Tragedy, it's plain to see

There's nothing in this world for you and me

Mr. Tragedy, open up your eyes

Or this whole world's gonna pass you by

Black cats cross your path, out in the park

Pianos fall upon you in the dark

That car that almost hit you was a hearse

[That car, it looks like murder]

That girl that almost kissed you was a nurse

Mr. Tragedy, it's plain to see

There's nothing in this world for you and me

Mr. Tragedy, open up your eyes

Or this whole world's gonna pass you by

It's raining on my house

But none of the others

All the girls you ever loved

Had vengeful brothers

The room's on fire, the baby's waking

Mr. Tragedy, stop hesitating [Hesitating, hesitating]

Anywhere you hang yourself is home

Silence sounds too good when you're alone

Your coffee is so black, it could be wine

[That coffee looks like murder]

And the end it's got so near, it's out of time

Mr. Tragedy, it's plain to see

There's nothing in this world for you and me

Mr. Tragedy, open up your eyes

Or this whole world's gonna pass you by

Mr. Tragedy, it's plain to see

There's nothing in this world for you and me

Mr. Tragedy, open up your eyes

Or this whole world's gonna pass you by

Mr. Tragedy, it's plain to see

There's nothing in this world for you and me

Mr. Tragedy, open up your eyes

Or this whole world's gonna pass you by