If I buy you a drink will you leave me alone?

I’m a bug-eyed young stranger ‘round here,

I’ll tell ye nowt ye don’t already know,

And my brogues too thick for your ear.

See I landed this mornin’ unwashed and unfed,

Yer man thought I were Greek, wouldn’t give me a bed,

And I’ve walked all o’ Sydney wi’ a heart of pure lead,

And a half a warm bottle of beer.

Tho my room lay as quiet as the old guns o’ Pinchgut,

My heart beats a lonesome & steady tattoo,

For a smile that I met on the boat frae Southampton,

Oh Christ! What am I gonnae do?

D’ye know I’m a full qualified engineer?

Tho the paper I’ve got’s no good to me here,

We built the damned ships that brought you all here,

All we’re good for is digging a hole!

Oh your frosty old evening commands me respect,

And your sun locks its jaws on the back of me neck,

As I pocket me pride & line up for a cheque,

Oh Christ! What am I gonnae do?

Oh Christ! what am I gonnae do?

If you buy me a drink, I’ll leave you alone,

I’ve talked your damned ears off, its time you were home,

Spare me the floorboards, I’ll dig you a hole,

Big enough to swallow the moon.