In the pub, about seven thirty

Mother makes sure that his face ain't dirty

Him and mother go everywhere

Holds her hand without a care

Lived with mother for fourty years

The neighbourhood said that he must be queer

Normal folk just ain't like that

Glad he can't hear behind his back

When mother dies, he will have a cry

'cos he'll be on his own

He's frightened stiff, would it come to this?

Will he lose her to the heavenly home?

In the pub, about seven thirty

Mother makes sure that his face ain't dirty

Him and mother go everywhere

Holds her hand without a care

Lived with mother for fourty years

The neighbourhood said that he must be queer

Normal folk just ain't like that

Glad he can't hear behind his back

When mother dies, he'll have a cry

'cos he'll be on his own

He's frightened stiff, would it come to this?

Will he lose her to the heavenly home?

Once went out with a London girl

Dirty weekend in a hotel

Broke it off when she got shirty

She was twelve and he was thirty

Right after that he was dead sore

He wouldn't go out with girls no more

From that day since, he never has

He wants to do something dirty