As I did walk by Hampstead Fair

I came upon Mother Goose – so I turned her loose

she was screaming.

And a foreign student said to me

was it really true there are elephants and lions too

in Piccadilly Circus?

Walked down by the bathing pond

to try and catch some sun.

Saw at least a hundred schoolgirls sobbing

into hankerchiefs as one.

I don't believe they knew

I was a schoolboy.

And a bearded lady said to me

if you start your raving and your misbehaving

you'll be sorry.

Then the chicken-fancier came to play

with his long red beard (and his sister's weird:

she drives a lorry).

Laughed down by the putting green

I popped `em in their holes.

Four and twenty labourers were labouring

digging up their gold.

I don't believe they knew

that I was Long John Silver.

Saw Johnny Scarecrow make his rounds

in his jet-black mac (which he won't give back)

stole it from a snow man.