I entered the room and the canned laughter

Ethel was angled across some dude's knee

I offered to clothe her to feed and to bath her

If she'd just give me a little exclusivity

Depth Charge Ethel is something special

Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is special to me

Ethel is a woman that a river runs through

She is famous throughout the land

People come and bathe in her, yeah, you know, I do

But lately its been getting right out of hand

Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is something special

Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is something special to me

To kiss Ethel is like drinking the stars

To not kiss her can make you come unglued

So if you want a piece of her you better get in there fast

Right now there is a ticket box and a queue

Depth Charge Ethel is something special

Depth Charge Ethel is something special to me

Depth Charge Ethel thinks we should all just take a chance

We should all love one another, it could be special

I'm in the back of a taxicab with ants in my pants

(I can't sit still) I know there gonna send me

Depth Charge Ethel is something special

She's something special she's heavy metal