Thank you.

Brian, I could use a little bit more monitor.

Hello hello, can't you turn up any more than that?

Hello hello, hey!

Alright!

Pardon me folks.

The name of this song is Penguin in Bondage,

An' it's a song that ah, deals with the possible variations on

a basic theme which is...well,

You understand what a basic theme is.

And then the variations include ah, manoeuvres that might be

executed with the aid of ah, extra-terrestrial gratification

and devices which might or might not be supplied in a local

department store or perhaps a drugstore but at very least in

one of those fancy new shops that they advertise in the

back-pages of the free press.

This song suggests to the suggestible listener that the

ordinary procedure ah,

That I am circumlocuting at this present time in order to get

this text on television,

Is that ah, if you wanna do something other than what you

thought you were gonna do when you first took your clothes off

and you just happened to have some DEVICES around...

Then it's, it's not only okay to get into the

PARAPHERNALIA of it all but...Hey!

What did he say? Ready?

She's just like a penguin in Bondage, boy

Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh...

Rennenhenninnahenninnenninahennn

Way over on the wet side

Of the bed (Knirps for moisture)

Just like the mighty Penguin

Flappin' her eight ounce wings

Lord, you know it's all over

If she comes atcha on the strut & wrap `em

all around yer head

Flappin her eight ounce wings, flappinumm

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy

Shake up the pale-dry

Ginger ale

Tremblin' like a Penguin

When the battery fail

Lord, you must be havin' her jumpin' through

a hoopa real fire

With some Kleenex wrapped around a

coat-hang wire

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy

Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh...

Rennenhenninnahenninneninahenn

Howlin' over to some

Antarcticulated moon

In the frostbite nite

With her flaps gone white

Shriekin' as she spot the hoop across the room

Lord, you know it must be a Penguin bound down

When you hear that terrible screamin' and

there ain't no other

Birds around

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy

Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh...

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy

Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh...

Rennenhenninnahenninneninahennn

Aw, you must be careful

Not to leave her straps

TOO LOOSE

`Cause she just might box yer dog

She just might box yer doggie

An' leave you a dried-up dog biscuit...